Thristhan

2 Old Men

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN.

AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL

THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, ‘GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED.

THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I’M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.’

THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS,

‘YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!’

‘DEAD?’ SAYS HIS FRIEND, ‘WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?’

‘WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.’ HIS FRIEND SAYS, ‘COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.’

‘A WITCH ??. . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?’

‘WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW… TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER!’

This is what I received from my email today, it titled New Products From Brazil, but frankly I’m not sure whether they are really from Brazil since most products are now made in China.

Anyhow, do check the photos out.

Something I received in my email today. Looks like a prototype but something quite interesting. Can’t yet figure out the purpose, unless someone wants to be away up high for a holiday.

Another one of my poems that I wrote in 2006, some how I realised that it could relate to anyone

You are the Joy of my life.
You are the reason I’m alive.
And Baby…Baby…Baby
When I think of you,
My mind goes crazy.

I’ve never known love like this,
and when you give me that special kiss,
You’re in my heart, you’re in my soul.
You’re all I can’t resist.
When I’m alone, It is you that I miss.

And I need to tell you,
The first time I held you,
From my point of view, I already knew,
You are the love of my life,
Believe me, it’s true.

I spent a lifetime waiting, always hesitating.
I was lost so deep inside my shell,
Till you came and saved me from myself.
Now all I really know,
Is that I need you so.

As we stand together,
I’ll say this over and over,
I promise now and forever.
Till the day that I die,
You are the love of my life.

Instead of bottling issues up before they overflow, then and there learn how to let them go and throw. Instead of having the desire to know, they blame ego. To me life’s like a box of lego. It’s no one man show, so take it nice and slow. Use the right pieces and you’ll glow. Even the great ones had problems you know, just like vincent van gogh. No paintings would looks so beautiful long ago, if he didn’t learn how to put his head down below.

Misunderstanding leads to family and friends being ditched, even if it’s just a small little glitch. Listen to your inner soul and enrich, when anger takes over learn how to switch. I know sometimes we tend to call them bitch, but deep down inside we know our bond is always rich.

A poem I wrote for someone special, instead gave me a life in hell. With her i wanted to excel, but I ended falling down that well.

My Love

I wanted just to be with her, to sit and talk alone
I hoped to take her hand in mine, and hoped a love would grow
I thought of kissing her soft lips and feeling her hand in mine
I dreamed of spending my days with her until the end of time
 
I knew her past held memories- of things I’d never learn
I knew her mind was not made up and that I might get burned
I put my guard up, once or twice, and tried to keep her away
I tried to run, I tried to hide but I kept thinking about that face
I had to give another chance, for what was meant to be
I exposed to her to my everything, my love was plain to see
 
She seemed to be having second thoughts after I explained it all
She seemed to be wanting someone else even after watching me fall
I had never felt as wonderful as when she held me near
I have never been with a person so sweet that it took away my fear
 
The logical side of me would step in
and tell me to get away
and then my heart would interrupt
and love would make me stay
 
A slave to my soul I’ll always be
Never doing what’s safe and right
I’ll be loving  her for the rest of my life
in my soul each day and night

During the times when I was so in Love, the rhyming part of me was going at full speed. It’s weird sometimes that you wonder how can this ability be multiplied when someone’s in love. The ending phrase of the poem actually took me minutes to come up with at that time and was sent as an sms. (Some modifications were made from the original poem)

Dear one, you fill my lung,
With beautiful songs sung,
Heatbeats jump, hump and pump,
Till the day falls like a tree stump, thump.

When we are down and out, about or in doubt,
No matter which route, we scout, or shout,
My days are with you throughout,
Something I can’t live without.

Seems like I’m crapping too much,
Talking with no meaning or such,
Slow down and put on that clutch,
And you’ll feel what’s in touch.

Beloved, a poem I wrote for you before,
This is one war, we shouldn’t keep score.
Hearts soar, roar, tore to the core,
Get up from that floor, and ask for more,

cause…

“We are two souls so devine,
Two hearts meant to be combined,
We are two species of a different design,
Your love I cannot decline,
Why I love you? I cannot define,
But I do know, that you’ll always be mine,
So, instead of worrying about the next line,
lets take this life and shine so fine”

A poem I wrote some time ago, kinda got bored with it after reading it a few times. Would appreciate your comments.


You are unique with your very own style,
If properly inspired you could go for a mile,
Something so simple could look like a marble tile,
Be patient and you’ll come up with something agile.

The feeling inside can be so intense,
Most of the time, it does not make sense,
Do it right and it will be beautiful,
Make it bright and it will be wonderful.

The toughest part is to make you rhyme,
repeating over and over every single time,
Straight to the point, being very subtle,
Takes ages to think of a title.

I will always spend my time with thee,
No matter which part of the world we may be,
To others you may be plain to see,
but a poem you’ll always be to me,

Thristhan

This post is intended as a Joke and not to cause any sort of harm to any political party. If there are any parties who are not happy with it, do let us know with a valid reason and we will have this removed.

1. Pak Lah, Najib and Samy V were patrolling in a helicopter

Samy: “if I drop a piece of RM1000 note from here, the person that picks it up must be very happy”  
Najib: “if I throw two pieces of RM500notes down, it will make 2 person happy”
Pak Lah: “if I drop TEN pieces of RM100notes, there will be 10 happy people”
The pilot murmuring to himself: “why don’t all of you just jump down from here, that makes 25 million people happy”

2. Samy V wish to enhance his reputation by publishing a series of stamps with his portraits. 1 month after the launch, Samy surveys its sales.

Post Office Chief: “not bad… but quite number of complaints that the glue is not strong enough”
Samy: “really…?”
He spits at the back of the stamp and sticks the stamp on an envelope “the glue is ok”
Post Office Chief: ”but… every one spits on the face of the stamp …”

3. Midnight, Najib went for supper and bumped into a robber

Robber: “give me all your money!!”
Najib was very angry: “I am the honorable Deputy Prime  Minister! ” Better behave yourself”
Robber: ” well, then … return all my money”

4. One fine day, PM and parliament members were on the way to a meeting where they all crashed into an accident and being rushed to the hospital.

The reporters were at the hospital, the doctor shook his head “we have done our best to rescue the PM but”            

Reporters: “How about Najib?”
Doctor: “we were unable to rescue him either …”
Reporters: “who have you saved?”
The doctor was exicted: “Malaysia is saved now”

5. Samy V visited the psychiatric hospital. All the patients hurray for him but there is one patient who ignored Samy

Samy: “why does he not welcome me?”
Doc: “He is normal today (not insane)

6. Election campaign time — accident

A farmer saw and rushed to the scene but all the passengers were dead.
He buried all the passengers (politicians).

Few days later, the police in charge found the farmer and asked where all
the politicians were, “Have they all died?”

Farmer: “hmmm, Samy was screaming that he is still alive when I buried him”
Police: “why you buried him anyway?”
Farmer: “because Samy never tells the truth”

This was an article from the St. Petersburg Times Newspaper.

The Business Section asked readers for ideas on   “How Would You Fix the Economy?”  I thought this guy has nailed it!

Dear Mr. President,

   All this and it’s still cheaper than the “bailout”.